A Dollop of Self-LoveKatja Leslie
Dollop of Self Love!
Self-love is vital for personal & collective wellbeing.
Have you been told or grown-up thinking that ‘me-time’ or self-focus is ‘selfish’?
Let’s focus on what happens when we give (of time, energy, money, advice etc) to others to such an extent that we find ourselves depleted, drained, possibly resentful, and out of touch with ourselves? Imagine running your car on empty, never top up the oil and expect it to perform in tip top condition?
Yet our bodies and emotions will often be drained and ‘on empty’ and we see it as ‘selfish’ to top ourselves up, due to our ingrained view that we must always put others above ourselves.
If I take time out in small or bigger ways as a regular practice, surely I have more to give to others? Often, the best thing you could possibly do for yourself when you are depleted is to be ‘selfish’. The point is not to do this so you never help others; rather to give to yourself first so that you are able to help others; more so in fact than if your personal petrol gauge is flashing red! In turn, you find yourself giving to others not out of obligation, resentment or a forced belief in abundance, but from a true spirit of generosity.
Food for thought:
My most enduring relationship is with myself. I am the one constant person in my life, so why would I neglect, compromise, judge, undervalue or deplete myself & not take the time to learn to like/love me?
Keys to Self-Love
* Being aware that much of the way you view yourself is because of external opinions & learning from parents, education, society, religion etc about how you ‘should’ look, weigh, behave, have, do etc. Can you get clear on which aspects feel good & release those that don’t?
* Knowing that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness & respect. Loving yourself enough to surround yourself with people who do not seek to drain, criticise, judge you or pull you down.
*Practice good self-care. Nurturing your mind & body by listening to it & treating yourself as a cherished friend; eating healthily, taking exercise, time out etc.
*Start to learn to forgive yourself, hold compassion & care for yourself for all you have been through in your life or are going through. Which feels better; beating yourself up or understanding you were doing the best you could at the time & also learnt a lot about yourself/life through what you went through?
*Take responsibility for your own life, thoughts, reactions & happiness. The process starts from within & ripples outwards.
*Acknowledge your feelings, listening to & respecting them. They bring messages, opportunities to release stuff & get to know you better.
* Practice gratitude! Focus on the good in your life rather than what you don’t have/want. Gratitude brings more good stuff & you’ll feel so much better about you & your life!
Energy flows where your focus goes!