Musings of a Spiritual SeekerKatja Leslie
So, it’s been a while since I last put fingers to keyboard and to me this ‘time lapse’ is synonymous with the sense that time is going so fast. Summer, albeit it somewhat disguised as Autumn is racing past us at a pace that at times seems quite challenging for the human mind to perceive. Reality is of course that ‘time’ has no definition in the realms of spirit, yet our human experience focuses on deadlines, lack of ‘time’, countdowns to Christmas, being another year older and so on. Apologies of course for mentioning ‘Christmas’ in August….my fingers were resisting typing the words I assure you!
June’s blog spoke of going with the flow; allowing life to meet us rather than constantly forcing, seeking and resisting the ebb and flow of life’s rhythms and divine timings. So this soul with L-plates firmly in place has been observing the art of ‘allowing’ these past few months. You could say that the proverbial penny has dropped this year as I experience a gentle shift in spiritual vision, akin perhaps to a ‘should have gone to Specsavers’ moment!
What great event or wise being has brought this ‘aha’ moment for me you may ask? Ah, the most wonderful, poignant, powerful event happened……wait for it……. I LET GO. What did I let go of though? Expectation, need for specific outcome to life’s meandering journey, focusing on tomorrow rather than being more present in today, giving my power away to someone or something else to ‘make me happy’, to name but a few. So very simple, yet complex due to our minds, egos, repetitive patterns, wounding’s and that’s just stuff in this lifetime – let’s not even get going on the past life baggage 😉
Shall we dive a little deeper into the pool of release and letting go…..
In July my son and I went, with a group of fellow spiritual tribesmen and women, to a workshop in Avebury. ‘Summer’ did its thing and rained non-stop, the workshop was lacklustre and the kagool look was not sexy, BUT it was the most magical weekend! Appreciation of each moment shared with kindred spirits, laughter and connection with my son as we navigated wet and windy Wiltshire, giggling like naughty school children with my mother as we sat soaking wet by my chosen Avebury stone…..priceless MOMENTS; moments of resonance, being fully focused on the here and now and simple joys. In the past I would have allowed thoughts and feelings of disappointment about the weather or workshop content to have defined my experience. Yet a simple shift in perspective yields an experience and memory that is poles apart from that which the past would have created.
I don’t make a practice of listening to or watching the news, but of course it is impossible to completely detach from the experiences the world is going through. Rather than align my energy and thoughts with so much sadness and terror; I choose to be in gratitude to those who go through such heart-breaking experiences; gratitude for the awakening that their journey is providing us with. These brave souls have shown me that there is no time for self-pity if the day is ‘boring’ or the relationship hasn’t worked out, that there is nothing to be gained from ‘wishing’ life was different or hoping that person could behave otherwise…… The wisdom, clarity and gratitude for each moment I now feel, is the gift those brave souls who leave the earth in all manner of tragic ways, gives to me; to all of us. Life is a precious gift and one we so often spend lamenting the past, fearing the future, judging the other, complaining about this or that ‘failure’.
Other ingredients I have thrown into my spiritual mixing bowl these past few months are laughter and lightness with the self, allowing myself to FULLY embrace and focus on each moment and to always remember that life is a series of moments; some are exciting, others mediocre, some pull at the heart, while others confuse the mind. At the end of the day though, we are not here to bake the perfect cake with our life’s ingredients; life is meant to be messy, silly and have a dose of chocolate added to each mouthful!
Each of these moments is so precious; never to be repeated; there is value and a gift inherent in all of them when we flow with life, stay fully present in today, relinquish the power so many allow the past to have over themselves and experience gratitude for each moment that we have on this crazy roller coaster of a life, with its dips and highs, the bits shared with others and the bits where we acknowledge the beautiful relationship we have with ourselves.
My meditation mat looks lovely in my bedroom and occasionally has been used for the purpose it was purchased for, but I’m not beating myself up for the fact that it spends most of its time looking pretty, because I don’t need to…….The enjoyment I receive from it, be it meditation cushion or beautiful energy in my bedroom matters not in the grand scheme of things.
The 5:2 diet book I have has such lovely recipes and pictures and even a half made list of purchases in order for me to embark on this latest mission……but I’m not angry or feeling I have ‘failed’ because it hasn’t ‘served its purpose’ yet; I’m enjoying the process and the journey, whether that leads me to 5:2 heaven, hell or apathy; it’s all ok!
The skirting boards in my therapy room were so happy to receive a fresh coat of paint….in June…..the fact that they are still waiting on their second coat in August is not something I’m concerned about. The summer has been about flow, embracing the now and enjoying the moments as they happen and as such, the skirting boards are exuding an energy of peace as they witness the meandering musings of a spiritual seeker; proud to be wearing her L-plates!
Life is a Gift……
Embrace it all, live it, love it; cry, scream and shout at times – absolutely, but know you are alive; you are here for a reason, you are needed and I am eternally grateful to be sharing the ride with you.
Until next time – stay peaceful, positive and grateful fellow spiritual seekers. x