What if I’m Enough?

What If I’m Enough?

 

 

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou.

 

Imagine what it would feel like to hold the version and vision of you that is enough?  How many hours, weeks, years of our lives do we spend beating ourselves up because we’re not this or that, don’t look like this or that, haven’t achieved this or that; essentially, that we are not enough? I’m guessing if we’re’ honest, truly honest, it’s a LOT.  Countless reasons why we simply are not enough.

We can read, research or be told a thousand times that we are enough just the way we are, but it’s as if this potent belief and information simply doesn’t go in. 

On an almost daily basis many of us will meticulously look for evidence that perhaps we are a nobody, don’t deserve to be loved, aren’t living up to our full potential, are too fat, thin, stupid, lazy, boring, old; the list is literally never ending isn’t it.  Perhaps we’re telling ourselves that we’ve ‘failed’ in relationships, don’t earn enough, don’t have enough friends or a job that has ‘potential’.

Under the pressure we place on ourselves, we invariably forget the wonderfully unique, amazing & powerful aspects that we ARE.  We get entrenched in the picture and story our inner critic is telling and, for some, has always told.  A narrative that can tear down fragilely constructed self-esteem and compound self-depreciating thoughts, beliefs, and feelings.

We so often define our worth by our accomplishments, looks, career, relationship status and wealth, to name a few.  And let’s keep it real, to strive towards greater things and want to improve ourselves and become the best version of ourselves is a positive way of life when approached from a healthy perspective.  Indeed, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel accomplished in whichever way feels right for each of us.

It’s when we solely base our sense of worth on transient aspects, be it looks, relationships, finances, possessions etc, that we invariably begin to feel that we are not good enough because these things are rarely a constant, never changing factor.

The lens of self-criticism is perhaps the most polished one of all, yet it is also the most damaging.  Of course, we are human, and these aspects comprise the human journey.  Each aspect holds an opportunity for self-realisation and growth, so perhaps we can dive deeper into this topic through a new lens of curiosity and compassion.

 

Not feeling enough invariably stems from our younger years, because it is a common belief; one that has transcended generations, especially in Western society, that to be enough we need to prove ourselves worthy and measure that worth against those who appear to have it all; financially, physically, and so on.

We have essentially grown into this false and highly damaging narrative and legacy. The comparisons we make of ourselves against other people serves no one yet is rife.  We also forget that, as unique individuals, each person’s gifts, talents, hopes, dreams, abilities and so on are as unique as each of us is.

We are shown those who ‘have it all’, yet we are seeing more and more, as falsehoods and facades diminish, that most, if not all, still experience feelings of not being enough; of not feeling worthy.

Let’s flip this over for a moment.

There are those who appear to have very little, yet they do have a strong sense of self-worth.

How can I start to feel that I am enough?

  • I can remember that the people I compare myself to compare themselves to others too.

Those who seem to ‘have it all’ do not.  They have their version of their unique life and life experiences, lessons, and situations.  What if we could look at other people through the lens of compassion and understanding rather than jealousy and judgement?  What if we could remind ourselves that each person is a unique expression, a perfectly imperfect being going through their unique version of the same universal challenges we all go through in our own ways?

  • Don’t believe everything you think.

Thoughts invariably run unchecked and literally run amok, don’t they?  They don’t always tell us the truth and can be unhealthy and exhausting, not to mention damaging if we give so much power to the negative, fearful ones.  Thoughts become habitual but that doesn’t mean they are necessarily factual.  We can learn to give less energy to those that do not support us or need listening to.

  • Focus on the things that are good, positive, and right about you.

Even if you can, to begin with, only come up with one positive thing, go with it.  Most of us are not used to acknowledging our positives or we have been told that it is selfish and self-centred to do so, so it will initially be like learning a new language.  Stick at it!  You can pave new pathways when you choose to.

  • Make peace with the ‘now’ before you can reach and be happy with the ‘later’.

If you decide you want to make positive changes and reach the next rung on the ladder, can you accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are right now?  It may not be comfortable, it may feel as if you have a mountain to climb, but acceptance of ‘now’ is the starting point for sustainable growth and change. Can you embrace and make peace with where you are, knowing that you are journeying towards something?  This will assist you in feeling more peaceful, positive, and optimistic.

  • Can progress be your focus rather than perfection, how far you’ve come be more important than how far you have left to go?

When we need to ‘get it right’ we can so often experience feelings of failure, unworthiness, and self-loathing.  We can feel as if we have fallen short, rather than remembering that we are working towards our goals and are works in progress.  Putting ourselves out there is huge in itself, yet we can forget to recognise this.

I’m proud of you, yes, YOU.  You are stronger than you think, and worthy of all the love, blessings and abundance life is holding for you.

 

You are enough just as you are.  You always have been.  We just need reminding of this and that’s ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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